


Esmeralda's Pain

by Shadowlord13



Category: Star Stable
Genre: F/M, Panic AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18443078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowlord13/pseuds/Shadowlord13
Summary: This is the story of how Esmeralda Shadowlord became the Rider of Wrath in the Panic AU.





	1. Chapter 1

“Com’ on Shadow, the fights about to start!”

 

“Alright, just shut up already,” yelled a tall girl over her shoulder.

 

The girl turned back to her horse.

 

“It’s okay, Dancer, I’ll be back,” she said softly, stroking the dapple gray’s cheek.

 

The girl turned and strode towards the door of a house she could barely make out in the fog and smoke.  At the door she knocked five times, causing a part of the door to slide open. A pair of eyes peered out at her.

 

“What’s the password?” came a gruff male voice.

 

“Garnok.”

 

The hatch slid shut and a moment later the door fully opened.

 

The girl, apparently named Shadow, entered the house which stood as a front for an underground fight club.  She followed the sound of cheering through the house and down into the basement. There was already a good sized crowd circled around two opponents.  Shadow found a spot up on a counter at the outer edge of the crowd to sit and watch the violence.

 

The two current fighters weren’t using any weapons meaning they were in the bottom tier.  The two men seemed to be evenly matched. The fight seemed to last forever to the point Shadow was starting to get bored.  Finally one of the men landed a hard enough left hook to knock his opponent out cold. Seeing that the man on the ground wasn’t about to get up, the match was called with the winner being taken to the doctor upstairs.  As the loser was dragged from the circle, people in the crowd exchanged money and bets before the next tier fight was to begin.

 

As the night wore on more blood was spilled, money exchanged hands, and Shadow’s interest grew.

 

The last fight of the night was between the reigning champion and the second best of the top tier.  This was the fight everyone had come to see. Before the fight began, the organizer of the fight club, a man named Bob, came to the center of the circle between the two combatants.

 

“Now, as is tradition, these two fine warriors must choose a weapon with which they choose to use throughout the fight,” Bob announced in a booming voice, “the challenger will choose first.”

 

“I choose the battle mace.”

 

The opponent was handed his weapon of choice.

 

“Now for the champion to choose,” boomed Bob.

 

The champion, a large well muscled man, said, “Rob choose fists.”

 

A murmur spread throughout the crowd.

 

Shadow looked around in confusion.  She leaned over and asked the guy next to her, “why is everyone surprised?”

 

The guy, probably in his early 20s, said, “Cause this is the first time someone has decided to not use a weapon in a champion fight.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Shadow had noticed that in each higher tier, the fighters were allowed to choose from a wider range of weapons.

 

Back in the circle, the fight had started.  Rob’s opponent swung at him wildly with the mace, which was probably heavier than the opponent had expected based on his swings.  Rob managed to dodge every swing as he danced his way around the circle. As this continued on, the crowd began to get restless and the cheering was starting to be replaced by boos and hisses.  Rob’s opponent, named Gronk of all things, was getting tired hauling around the heavy mace chasing after Rob. Gronk tried one more swing that missed like all the others, and fell to one knee. Rob saw his chance and raced in, throwing a flurry of punches to Gronk’s head and chest.  Gronk barely had a chance to defend himself from the onslaught of blows. Rob landed a blow to the temple that sent Gronk sprawling. The crowd counted down the ten seconds that a fighter had to get back on his feet. The crowd roared when the time was up, meaning Rob stayed the undefeated champion.  

 

With the last fight over for the night, people began to file out of the basement and go their separate ways.  Shadow stayed behind though, waiting for the right opportunity.

 

When nearly everyone had left save for the winners of the night from each tier, who were collecting their winnings.  The men each moved off once they received their money. As Bob handed the last wad of cash to a winner, Shadow approached him.

 

“What do you want, girly?” he said bluntly.

 

Shadow’s right eye twitched slightly at being called girly.

 

“I want to fight,” she said simply.

 

Bob looked her up and down with his one good eye before barking out laughter.

 

“You...want to fight...in my club?” Bob barely got out between fits of laughter.

 

“Like I said,” Shadow said, narrowing her dark green eyes, “I want to fight.”

 

Sensing her seriousness, Bob stopped laughing.

 

“What’s a pretty girl like you wanting to fight for anyway?” he asked, rubbing his bearded chin.

 

“Let’s just say, I’ve got a lot of pent-up anger I need to get out,” Shadow said coolly.

 

“Alright, I’ll let you fight, but this ain’t no powder puff league,” Bob said, “What’s your name?”

 

“Esmeralda Shadowlord,” the girl said proudly.

 

“Esmeralda Shadowlord, huh?” Bob said, mulling the name over before nodding his head, “welcome to Jorvik’s finest underground fight club.”

 

Bob stuck out his hand, which Esmeralda shook firmly.

 

“Your first fight is next week, you’ll be starting at the bottom tier.”

 

Esmeralda turned and made her way back up the stairs and out of the house to where she had left Dancer tied up.  Dancer nickered softly as she got closer.

 

“Sorry that took so long, boy,” Esmeralda murmured as she untied Dancer’s rope.

 

Esmeralda swung onto Dancer’s back and started to make her journey to where she had been staying for the past year.

 

As the sun started to poke it’s head over the mountains, Esmeralda and Dancer made it back to their home, if you could call it that.  The farm had sat abandoned for years and was the perfect place for an orphan to live. Esmeralda took Dancer’s bridle off and got him some water.  She left the abandoned barn door open just enough so that Dancer could go out and graze if he wanted to.

 

Esmeralda hiked up one of the hills that hid the farm house from view.  She nudged open the front door and walked in, making sure to close the door as best as she could considering that the doorframe was broken from being kicked in.  Esmeralda made her way to the bedroom where she kicked her boots off and laid down on the dusty bed.

 

As she laid there, Esmeralda’s mind wandered back to her childhood.

* * *

The tragedy in Esmeralda’s life had started when her mother had died when she was only five years old.  Looking back on it now, Esmeralda realized that her mom had been sick for a year before finally passing.  After that, things only got worse.

 

Resse, her father, had his own way of grieving, one could say.  He became more focused on himself and finding a replacement than trying to comfort his young, confused daughter.  Esmeralda, in a bid to get any attention, began to act out. She got into fights at school and started to hang out with the wrong crowd as she got older, but Resse never cared.  He spent more time picking up women and bringing them home, nearly a new one each week.

 

When Esmeralda was about nine, Resse finally managed to land another woman for a long period of time.  The woman, Jacqueline Beliveau, didn’t give a damn about Esmeralda either so she was perfect for Resse.

 

After a year, Resse and Jacqueline were married and off to make their own family, the only problem was that they left Esmeralda behind.  Resse had sent Esmeralda to the Moorland summer camp to “try and straighten her out”, but really it was just to give Resse and Jacqueline time to pack everything up and move.  Esmeralda had returned to an empty house, the only things left were her clothes in a pile in what had been her room. The one good thing was that she had her horse, Dancer, by her side.

 

Over the next four years, Esmeralda had bounced from place to place, doing whatever necessary to feed herself including selling most of Dancer’s tack and her clothes, even having to steal when needed.  Luckily she had found the abandoned farm when she did, before the cold of winter had hit Jorvik. Now though, Esmeralda hoped to make enough money in the fights to keep herself comfortably fed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esmeralda's first fight   
> Warning for men ogling a 15 year old girl

The week seemed to slowly crawl by but it was finally time for Esmeralda’s first fight.  The fifteen year old had decided to french braid her long, curly hair in order to keep it out of her face.  Esmeralda looked at herself one last time in the bathroom mirror, psyching herself up for what was to come.

 

When she was ready, Esmeralda walked down the flight of stairs to the basement where the crowd was gathered in its usual circle.  Bob stood in the center of the circle.

 

“Tonight for our first tier fight, we have two newcomers to the fight club,” Bob announced, “the first is Colum, a strapin’ fightin’ Irishman.”

 

A pale, thin man stepped into the center of the circle next to Bob.

 

“And his opponent,” Bob continued, “the first woman to fight here, Esmeralda.”

 

Esmeralda pushed her way through the crowd until she stood in front of Colum.

 

“I hope you hav’ proper fightin’ attire on under dat jacket, lass,” Colum chirped.

 

The crowd laughed.

 

Esmeralda unzipped her jacket to reveal a tanned, toned body covered by a black sports bra.

 

The men whooped and whistled.

 

She could feel the dozens of eyes roaming her body, even Colum couldn’t help looking her up and down.  The only thing it did was fuel her anger.

 

“Damn, in this case I think it’d be smarter ta be a lover rather a fighter,” Colum said in his Irish accent.

 

“You sure you want to do this girly?” Bob asked.

 

Esmeralda simply nodded.

 

“Then let the fight begin!”

 

Esmeralda got into her fighting stance and was on her toes.

 

“I’ll be nice,” Colum shouted above the noise of the crowd, “an’ let ya take the first swing.”

 

Colum lowered his arms and placed them behind his back.  He jutted his upper body out towards Esmeralda.

 

Esmeralda stayed wary as she moved towards Colum.

 

“Come on, take a swing,” he goaded.

 

Esmeralda moved quickly, rushing in and swinging her fist for Colum’s cheek.  A thwack brought the crowd to a stunned silence. Colum was bent to the side. He raised a hand to his left cheek as he straightened, spitting out a small bit of blood.

 

“Ah, so that’s how it’ll be.”

 

Esmeralda readied herself in her stance.

 

Colum rushed at her, catching Esmeralda off guard with how quick he was.  She barely dodged a punch to the face but took a hit to the side. The breath was briefly knocked out of her.  Esmeralda lifted her arms to block any following blows, however none came. She peered over her raised fists at Colum, who stood there with a smirk plastered across his face.

 

“Whatcha goin’ to do lass huh?”   
  


Esmeralda tried to do the same move as before but this time Colum dodged and landed a blow to her stomach, dropping her to one knee at Colum’s feet.  Colum grabbed as best he could onto Esmeralda’s hair, trying to lift her up. As he did this, Esmeralda shot an elbow up with as much force behind it as she could muster from her legs.  Her elbow landed right in Colum’s stomach making him let go of her hair as he gasped for air. Esmeralda got out from under him before delivering a knee to his jaw. Colum stumbled backwards until he hit the edge of the crowd.  Esmeralda would have gone after him but she didn’t trust any of the men there to not try something, so she kept her distance.

 

Some of the men Colum was leaning against suddenly pushed him forward causing him to go to his knees.  Esmeralda saw an opportunity to deliver a final kick. As she was about to kick him in the head, Colum suddenly swept the leg she was standing on out from under her.  She fell to the ground and soon had Colum sitting on top of her. Esmeralda tried to get him off but he managed to pin her arms to the ground.

 

“You look good on your back,” Colum said, his face close to hers.

 

In the next instant Esmeralda headbutted Colum in the nose, causing him to reel backwards enough for Esmeralda to thrust her hips up fast enough to send Colum over her head.  Esmeralda scrambled on top of him delivering such a flurry of punches that even after the fight had been called, it took two large men to pull her off of Colum, who lay there unconscious and bleeding.

 

“Get ahold of yourself, girly,” Bob shouted before delivering a hefty slap.

 

This only caused Esmeralda to roar in frustration as the two men struggled to hold her.

 

“Take her upstairs to one of the rooms and tie her up, gag her if you have to,” Bob ordered.

 

It took about four or five men in total to do as Bob commanded.

 

“She certainly seems to be a handful,” a tall man with long red hair said coolly to Bob.

 

“Lord, she’s sure more than that,” Bob replied as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“She has potential, though,” the man said.

 

“Hmph, potential to get this place shut down,” Bob said gruffly.

 

“I doubt that, if anything this place will be better off with her.”

 

“What the hell makes you think that?”   
  


“People will pay plenty to see a woman kick a man’s ass just to see if she can actually do it.”

 

“True, however if she acts like that in every fight, it’s not likely anyone will want to fight her.”   
  


“I’m sure they will,” the man said, “you should go check on this...precious flower.”

 

“Probably should, make sure she don’t go blab to the wrong person.”   
  


Bob walked off to go find where Esmeralda had been placed.  The man he had been talking to melted back into the shadows.

 

After checking every room, Bob finally managed to find Esmeralda bound and gagged in a chair.  By this time she had worn herself out struggling against the rope that held her. Bob approached her and checked for a pulse, she was alive but possibly sleeping.

 

“Wake up, girly,” Bob said as he patted her shoulder.

 

Esmeralda stirred a little, wincing when she moved.  Bob removed the rope that had been used to gag her only after Esmeralda agreed to not scream anymore.

 

“What happened out there?” Bob asked.

 

“What do you mean?”   
  


“What happened when you lost control?”   
  


Esmeralda took a breath before she spoke.

 

“I’m not really sure...I-I suddenly wasn’t seeing Colum’s face anymore, instead it was the face of the person I hate most,” Esmeralda said softly.

 

“The person you hate most, huh? You must hate them a hell of a lot cause you nearly killed that boy.”   
  


“Really?” Esmeralda said looking up.

 

Bob nodded.

 

“It felt good,” Esmeralda whispered.

 

“You need to learn to control that anger of yours if you want to continue fighting here.”

 

“I don’t know how,” Esmeralda said shaking her head.

 

“It takes time and guidance, girly.”

 

“I only have one of those,” Esmeralda said, downtrodden.

 

Bob was quiet for a moment before sighing.

 

“Damn the gods,” Bob whispered to himself before addressing Esmeralda, “I’ll help ya out since I’m guessing you ain’t got no one.”

 

“Really?” Esmeralda asked.

 

Bob nodded.

 

“Why would you help me?”

 

“Cause I see a lot of my son in you, and I wasn’t there to help him when he needed it.”

 

Esmeralda could sense that there was more to it than what Bob had said due to the sadness in his voice but she wasn’t about to pry.

 

“Thank you,” Esmeralda murmured.

 

“Now, let me get you out of these restraints,” Bob said, his voice returning to its usual gruffness.

 

Bob quickly untied the ropes that held Esmeralda to the chair.  She rolled her wrists which stung from being rubbed raw while struggling.  Bob noticed this.

 

“Let’s get ye down to the doc to take a look at cha.”

 

Esmeralda followed Bob as he led the way to the doc, trying not to show how much pain she was in.  Bob went to one of the guest bedrooms which served as the infirmary. The room was fairly large and lined with cots.  An older man was leaned over a cot that held another fighter.

 

“Got another one for you to look at, George,” Bob said, jerking his thumb at Esmeralda.

 

“Just a moment, nearly done with these stitches,” the man said, not looking up.

 

Bob and Esmeralda stood there as they waited for George to finish what he was doing.  Once he was done, George turned around, taking his latex gloves off.

 

“Ah, is this the one they had to restrain?” George asked looking at Esmeralda.

 

“Yup,” Bob said to George before turning to Esmeralda, “George here is the doc, he’ll take good care of ya.”

 

Bob turned and left Esmeralda standing there with George.

 

“Come over here and let me take a look at you,” George said.

 

Esmeralda did as she was told and sat down on the edge of one of the cots.

 

“Let’s see,” George said half to himself as he poked and prodded Esmeralda all over.

 

“No obvious injuries other than for bruising and scrapes on your knuckles and wrists, I’ll go get a salve for that.”

 

George moved off to a large cabinet at the back of the room.  He soon returned with a jar.

 

“This will help take the pain away and promote healing,” he said as he applied the salve to Esmeralda’s knuckles and wrists.

 

“So, what’s your story?” George asked.

 

Esmeralda didn’t answer.  George’s eyes flicked up to look at her for half a second.

 

“A strong, silent type I see, not surprising, not many want to tell their story the first time they see me.”

 

Esmeralda remained silent as George continued treating her.

 

“You’re all done,” George said once he was finished.

 

Esmeralda said a quiet thank you as she got up to leave.  She noticed a pale man lying on a cot in the corner. She recognized Colum quickly.  George followed her line of sight to him.

 

“He’ll be alright, other than for a broken nose and a few chipped teeth...you certainly did a number on him.”

 

Esmeralda quickly turned and walked out of the infirmary.  She made her way back down to the basement to watch the remaining fights.  As she made her way to the spot on the counter, Esmeralda noticed that the men around her moved away from where she was.

 

Once she sat on the counter, Esmeralda couldn’t help but feel eyes on her again, but this time, it felt different.  The hair on the back of her neck stood up as she searched for the person staring at her. She saw a tall man with long red hair staring at her from the opposite side of the room.  Esmeralda stared back at him with the hardest look she could muster. The long haired man simply stared back at her and smirked before moving off.

 

The rest of the night was as uneventful as a night at a fight club could be.  In the end, Esmeralda earned about sixty dollars for her first fight. It would be enough to feed her for the next week or so.

 

After collecting her winnings from Bob, Esmeralda slowly made her way out to Dancer.  When she tried to swing herself up onto his back, she gasped in pain.

 

“I’m sorry, buddy, you’re going to have to help me out here.”

 

Esmeralda tapped Dancer on the withers, the command for him to lie down.  She carefully hauled herself onto Dancer’s back, who got back to his feet once she was settled.  Esmeralda guided Dancer back to the abandoned Dews farm, although at this point Dancer knew the way himself.

 

Once at the farm, Esmeralda settled Dancer in then crawled into bed herself.  The pain she felt wasn’t too bad thanks to the salve that George had put on her.  Esmeralda slept for a long time as her body recovered from the beating she had taken.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bob helps Esmeralda control her anger

The next Friday evening, Esmeralda rode Dancer into Jarlaheim and down to the smoggy back alley where the fight club house stood.  Esmeralda had decided to get to the house particularly early so that she could work with Bob.

 

She tied up Dancer outside and walked to the front door.  Esmeralda knocked on the door. She waited for a minute before knocking again, this time with more force behind each knock.  Again she waited and just as she was about to pound on the door, the slot in it slid to the side.

 

“Who there?” came a voice from the slot.

 

“Esmeralda, I’m here to see Bob.”

 

The dark slot was quiet.

 

“Wait here,” the voice said before the slot was slid shut.

 

Esmeralda sighed in frustration as she stood there on the stoop.  A few minutes later the door opened. Esmeralda cautiously walked inside the house which was quiet.  As the door was closed behind her, Esmeralda turned her head to see that it was the top tier champion, Rob, closing it.

 

“You’re here early.”

 

Esmeralda whipped her head to the front at the sound of Bob’s voice.  She hadn’t even heard him come out from wherever he had been.

 

“I didn’t know how long this would take and wanted to be done before the fights,” Esmeralda said.

 

“Ey good idea girly.”

 

Bob turned without another word and started to walk off to some room of the house.  Esmeralda took a guess that she was supposed to follow him and she did. Bob led her to an empty back room that had candles placed randomly throughout as well as two mats on the floor.

 

“Go on an’ take a seat.”

 

Esmeralda carefully walked through the maze of candles to take a seat on one of the mats.  Bob closed the door and also made his way to a mat and sat down.

 

“So to start off girly, you need to learn to control that anger of yours,” Bob said.

 

“Ok, how do I do that?”

 

“You have to center yourself and find a space of calmness.”

 

Esmeralda nodded.

 

“Close your eyes,” Bob commanded, “What’s something that brings you down to earth?”

 

Esmeralda closed her eyes and tried to think of what kept her grounded.

 

“I don’t know,” Esmeralda said frustrated after a few minutes.

 

“Hmmm, what is the one thing that keeps you going?”

 

Esmeralda thought for a moment.

 

“My horse, Dancer.”

 

“Good, now what is it about Dancer that keeps you going?”

“He doesn’t have anyone else if something happens to me.”

 

“Very good, now imagine you let that temper of yours control you and you either wind up in prison or worse, dead, then what would happen to your precious Dancer?”

 

Esmeralda’s eyes snapped open.

 

“I-I don’t want to think about that.”

 

“Well you better or else it could become a reality,” Bob said sternly.

 

Esmeralda sighed and closed her eyes again.

 

“He would be given to someone else,” she said eventually.

 

“Exactly and how does that make you feel?”

 

“Angry...with myself.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I let him down by not being there for him.”

 

“That anger that you’re feeling, try controlling it by taking some deep breaths.”

 

Esmeralda breathed in through her nose and released it through her mouth slowly.  She did this multiple times until she had settled herself.

 

“Good, you were able to cool that hot head of yours,” Bob said proudly, “much better than Gra--”

 

Esmeralda’s ears perked up at the end of Bob’s sentence.

 

“Better than who?” Esmeralda inquired.

 

Bob was silent for a time.  Just as Esmeralda was thinking that he wasn’t going to acknowledge her question, he spoke. 

 

“Graham, my son,” Bob said solemnly, “he was just as if not more of a hot head than you.”

 

Bob half smiled to himself as he continued.

 

“He got into lots of fights … and they ended up taking him from me.”

 

The sadness that fell from Bob’s words pulled at a part of Esmeralda’s heart that she had tried to block off from the world.

 

“He was at the age where he thought he was invincible, and he paid for it with his life … a parent should never have to bury their child.”

 

The silence hung around Bob and Esmeralda as they sat there.

 

“I’m sorry for your loss, it sounds like you loved him a lot,” Esmeralda said.

 

“Ey I did an’ I still do,” Bob said, “that’s enough for tonight, girly, the fights should be startin’ soon.”

 

Bob got up and walked out the door towards the sound of a large crowd.  Esmeralda sat there for a moment taking deep breaths before she too got up but she made sure to blow all the candles out before she made her way down to the fights.

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, Esmeralda continued to meet with Bob before the fights so she could work on controlling her anger.  Some nights when Esmeralda got to the club house, she would be hungry and Bob would notice when her stomach growled loudly during the silences in her lessons.  Once the lesson was over, Bob would give her something to eat. At first, Esmeralda refused because she didn’t want any handouts, but Bob eventually wore her down.


End file.
